Jaguars embezzler went full Florida Man together with his $22 million

The Florida man in Amit Patel — the Jaguars’ worker who embezzled $22 million from the crew — was very robust. You’d count on that a lot ill-gotten money can be spent on issues that the solid of The Italian Job would purchase, however that is the land of Parrot Heads, so the popular route is to go hog wild on the sportsbook, after which blow the remaining on bizarre on-line purchases.

In a court docket submitting Thursday, federal prosecutors detailed Patel’s expenditures, and it learn like a remake of Clean Examine. There was $600,000 on Apple merchandise, $47,113 for a Tiger Woods putter, $40,000 at Amazon and Finest Purchase, $140,412 on eBay, and, my private favourite, $9,477 on the Jaguars crew store and stadium membership.

Dude, you labored for the group. I’m positive somebody may’ve hooked you up with low-cost and/or free swag. Additionally, how are you going to spend $2,200 on a game-used Trevor Lawrence jersey? Simply go all the way down to the locker room after a sport and swipe a bunch of jerseys from the laundry, or strive asking. I’m positive there are many latent felons round.

Fast be aware to the Jaguars: In case your monetary supervisor is dropping 1000’s of {dollars} on the crew store like he’s on a procuring spree, or exhibiting up on the stadium membership draped in merch, perhaps verify your books. However who is aware of, maybe they thought Patel was paying off his Tesla by driving for Uber.

Patel’s lawyer, Alex King, who was retained with $275,000 of the surplus funds, mentioned his shopper has a playing habit and that “99 % of the misappropriated funds” had been used to pay again playing losses. King cited a playing habit as the reason for Patel’s malfeasance as if an alcoholic who plows into a bunch of pedestrians ought to be given leniency as a result of substance abuse is a illness.

To be trustworthy, although, that is as near a victimless crime as you’re going to get. Jaguar proprietor Shahid Khan owns AEW and an EPL membership, so his coffers most likely aren’t hurting for cash. Plus, not too way back, Nick Foles received away with $88 million. Positive, it was a legally binding, four-year contract, however it was nonetheless a heist.

Issue within the karma of the NFL getting in mattress with sportsbooks, after which having some whack-job crew worker bilk a franchise out of $22 million, and the entire thing is excessive comedy. Patel dropped $77,000 on the Ponte Vedra Seaside Inn & Membership, together with $25,581 on an initiation price, after which one other $5,508 on massages and cucumber water.

The very first thing I’m doing with $22 million is shopping for property as far-off from Florida as potential. And the very last thing I’m doing, aside from frittering it away on misguided parlays, is shopping for memorabilia. What function does a Tiger Woods putter serve? “Hey, everyone, come over to my home and take a look at my putter.”

Amit, darling, you mustn’t be afraid to dream just a little greater. However, in fact, that is Florida, and when you’re throughout the state traces, all bets are . . . funded by stolen cash, apparently.

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